Consult with Carolina from The Autism Treatment Center

Hi, I'm Matt, father of Felicity, and I wanted to share what I learned recently on our last conference call to The Autism Treatment Center of America.

Every three months or so, we regularly link up with Carolina in Massachusetts via Skype, to talk and discuss Felicity's program.

Even though its nearly 3 years since first learning about The Son-Rise Program, I continually find there is still more to discover, and I found that was certainly the case from our last link-up.

I have heard many other people make the same comment about The Son-Rise Program, saying that it is a gradual continuous learning process. The reason for this, I believe, is that through playing with our child in the playroom, what we are learning about is ourselves. So in a very real way, Felicity is teaching us about ourselves. This is a real gift.

In preparation for our latest consultation, we made a couple of short videos of Felicity and I playing together one evening. We send the videos across to Carolina, who then views them before we have our link-up.

Thankfully, the time difference at this time of year means that we can talk together in the mid-late evening. During the Australian summer, we start in the late hours and end in the early hours of the next day!

I was a little apprehensive when we sent through the videos because I knew that I have had much "better" sessions in the playroom than this one, which felt a little "flat" in some sections. However, if I am going to be honest and get the most from our consult, then it would be best to send through the "good" and the "bad".

Sure enough, Carolina picked up on this and we got to discuss what I can do better when challenges arise. To pick a specific point, there were a couple of times when Felicity was asking me to put some of the puzzles back on the shelf when she was finished with them. Each time Felicity would ask me to put them "Up" and I would respond by doing so.

I was respecting where Felicity was at in that moment - she wanted to get that puzzle put away, and after that we would move on. But it did not feel like we were playing together. I felt like I was just an extension of Felicity, and she was using me as an instrument.

The challenge is how can I build this interaction of putting this puzzle on the shelf, into a playful game with even more interaction between us?

So Carolina, like she often does, started to workshop and brainstorm with us to try and come up with things to try that would interest Felicity and draw her in to a little playful game or even an imaginative idea, as small as it may be.

Felicity has a deep love for the physical and slap-stick tickles her funny-bone, so we came up with balancing the puzzle on our head, spinning a puzzle piece on our node, or dancing our way to the shelf along with a playful song.

The theme behind each idea is to extend the interaction that little bit more, and to show Felicity that we are here to play with her, even if she might not be that interested to play with us at the time.

Of the two people in the playroom, it is the neuro-typical person (that's me) who is more likely to be initiating social interactions more often. So even though we allow Felicity to lead the activities in the playroom, it is role of the facilitator to build the interactions as much as possible, and hence to take ownership and to lead the social interaction inside the playroom. This was the main idea that was reinforced for me from our consult.

This idea is not a new one for me, and I had known about it before. But somehow I had let this slip out of my routine. Or had I become too routine, and forgotten this key idea?

Are there areas where I could challenge myself to grow? It has also been said, that as we learn and grow ourselves, we give our children more freedom to grow as well.

This is one of the big reasons that having regular consultations with the experienced team in the US is recommended. I particularly find sending the video through and getting feedback to be very useful, and helping to get me on the right track for Felicity's program.

I look forward will be putting what I learnt into practice in the playroom.